What Am I Doing with My Life? Finding Authenticity and Purpose

What the Heck Am I Doing with My Life?

Have you ever felt stuck in a moment, like you’re living in a perpetual Groundhog Day loop—rewinding and replaying the same days over and over? Or maybe you feel numb, like you’re on autopilot, drifting through life without passion or purpose.

If that resonates, let me tell you—you’re not alone.

Whether you know me or not, let me assure you: the fact that I’m sharing this story is as surprising to me as it might be to you. If you do know me, you know my story and how ridiculous it feels to be writing this at this moment in my life. If you don’t, well, let me just say this: the fact that I’m here, opening up to you, is a testament to how transformative life’s crossroads moments can be.

And that’s exactly what Coach Aligned is about—those defining intersections in life where your path is interrupted, redirected, or entirely transformed. These are divine appointments, moments you may not recognise at the time but that ultimately lead you to do things you never imagined, yet somehow always knew were within you.

My Crossroads Moment

Let me share a bit about my own crossroads story. It started when I hit a major milestone: turning 40. I live in the Northern Territory of Australia, and one ordinary day, I was driving down the Arnhem Highway with my two girls in the back seat. As I hit the indicator to turn right onto Zamia Road, I realized something startling: I hadn’t even registered the trip home.

I was numb, living on autopilot.

That moment was like a jolt, waking me up to the realization that something wasn’t right. On the surface, life looked good—great, even. I had a wonderful marriage (not perfect, but solid), two amazing daughters (Asher and Eden), a lovely home on acreage, fulfilling work, a supportive faith community, and meaningful friendships.

But deep down, I felt a whisper of dissatisfaction. It was as though something sovereign and precious inside me was fading away.

There’s an ancient Proverb that says, “Hope deferred makes the heart sick.” I realized that my heart was sick. And in that moment, I faced two clear options:

1. Stay on autopilot. I could keep turning right at the same turnoff, doing whatever was necessary to avoid the pain of dissatisfaction. I could suffocate my dreams and desires, choosing safety over self-discovery.

   But I knew the cost of this option: not just for me, but for my daughters, my husband, and everyone around me.

2. Lean into discomfort. I could choose to embrace the uncertainty, do the hard work, and ask myself the big questions: Who am I? What is my divine purpose? This option required courage, a spiritual partnership, and a willingness to dig deep and realign with my values and eternal purpose.

The choice was clear. I had to change.

Are You at a Crossroads?

Perhaps you resonate with my story. Maybe you’re also feeling stuck, numb, or heart-sick. If so, you have a decision to make.

When you’re at a crossroads, clarity often begins with asking yourself the right questions. Here are three that helped me and may help you too:

1. What Is the Wrestle?

Identify the tension you’re experiencing. Is it caused by:

• Unmet Expectations: Expectations are powerful. They can shape your reality, but when they’re unfulfilled, they can leave you feeling disappointed or disillusioned. Anne Lamott said it best: “Expectations are resentments waiting to happen.” To nurture hope and expectancy, you may need to dismantle unrealistic or unhealthy expectations.

• Unclear Direction: Many people spend more time planning a holiday than they do planning their lives. If you feel lost, take time to identify what you need to feel fully alive. Aligning your everyday decisions with your core values will activate your internal compass and provide a sense of direction.

• Unrealistic Boundaries: We all have a circle of control, but the temptation to over-control—relationships, outcomes, or even joy itself—can be exhausting. True certainty comes from within, not from micromanaging external circumstances.

2. What Is the Weight?

Consider the cost of being heart-sick. How is this whisper of dissatisfaction impacting your:

• Spirit: How would you describe your spiritual well-being? Are you leaning into God or pulling away? Is He close, trusted, and present, or does He feel distant and absent?

• Soul: Your soul encompasses your emotions, thoughts, and decision-making. Are you feeling disillusioned, discouraged, or even resentful? Are these emotions hardening your heart or clouding your perspective?

• Body: There are always physical costs when your spirit and soul are out of alignment. As Bessel van der Kolk explains in The Body Keeps the Score, your body retains the weight of repressed emotions and unresolved tension. Ignoring this can impact your physical health in profound ways.

3. What Are the Words?

Reflect on the story you’re telling yourself about this moment in your life. What meaning are you assigning to your circumstances, and how is that shaping your perspective on your future?

Write down your thoughts, journal about your inner dialogue, or record an audio note. Becoming aware of the narrative you’re creating can help you shift from a place of confusion to clarity.

Bridging the Gap

For over 35 years, I’ve helped women like you bridge the gap between who they are today and who God created them to be. Together with Darlene Partin, co-founding pastor of Shoreline Church in Destin, Florida, we created Coach Aligned—a platform to share principles, practices, and practical steps to help you rediscover clarity and realign with your authentic, God-ordained self.

Here, we’ll explore steps that will honour your values, align with your divine purpose, and empower you to walk confidently into the life you were created to live.

Closing Thoughts

Life’s crossroads moments aren’t easy, but they’re necessary. They interrupt the loop of autopilot living and invite you to wake up, reassess, and realign.

Remember, the decisions you make at these moments have the power to transform your trajectory—not just for you, but for everyone in your circle of influence.

So, I ask you: What is the wrestle? What is the weight? What are the words?

Lean into these questions. They hold the keys to unlocking clarity and rediscovering your True North.

Together, let’s bridge the gap between where you are now and the life you were created to live.